Trip to NYC / Elgins 23rd Birthday

Thursday
Aaron and my flight landed at 4:45pm at JFK. Elgin and Neil had already landed and met us at the baggage belt. It was so nice to see Neil and Elgin, I had not seen them since gay Disney and it put a huge smile on my face. I love my sisters…..We got on the AirTrain to Howard Beach to catch the A train to Mikey’s, and I was like ladies, sit back and relax, because 181st is a long ride. Instantly we all hit it off, laughing and catching up I was so excited about this trip. We got to Mikey’s at almost 7pm and was worn out form the train ride, but there where many hotties on the way up. It is so funny, for some reason we kept sitting underneath the subway maps on the train, and this total hottie was looking at us. Neil, Aaron, and I thought he was staring at us, LOL; he was looking at the map. We ended up talking to him and he had a thick…..thick COCK…I mean a thick Boston accent, we asked him where he goes out in NYC and he said he was meting his girlfriend and she was going to take him out. I was like whatever he is so not straight, but now days you can never tell with all these metrosexuals. We started our night off with a few drinks at the apt, and then went to Stonewall, cute and was cool because of the history. We ended up leaving and going to Splash, I hate Splash so I know we all had to have been drunk to go there. Needless to say we got tore up, bought some BC Powder (http://www.tragic.com/ ladies) from a guy off the street and went home….BITTER!!!! Mikey had to work the next morning and I don’t know how she woke up, but she did.

Friday
OK, talk about hung over, we woke up and showered around noon. When we got down to the subway, I almost lost my cookies, it was humid and I started sweating thank god the train was cold. We went to Tiffany’s to surprise Elgin with his B-day gift. We walked around for a few hours and ran into an old friend from Dallas, how ironic is that. A city of almost 8 million people and we run into Stew Bear from Dallas, to funny we talked and moved on. When Mikey got home from work, she was not smiling, we went over all the tragic events of the night and laughed….(Aaron having the Britney Dance off with some queens, the confusion between the bar we thought was Detention, was really Stonewall upstairs). Night 2, We headed to Opaline to have some drinks and dance for a bit, drank a little to much, everyone kept buying each other shots, I was like thanks I just had 3 of them, but what’s one more. Miss Mikey was mugging down with Dr. Pokey Pants and honestly I was confused everyone was kissing someone and then it was like everyone traded for sample….so confusing I think we ended up kissing about 40 people that night. I met a cute guy named Christopher, we kissed, fell in love, and then everyone was ready to go….go figure my luck. Daniel comes over and says we are leaving and I was like BYE…..LOL. Chris was a little drunk so we said our goodbyes with our tongues and then the girls headed to Boys Room. Now, I think it is almost 2am by this time and we are feeling good…More drinks and dancing and then I look up and Mikey is dancing on the box with his shirt off and 3 guys are trying to take his pants down. Miss Mess, clean up on aisle five and it did not help that she had a jock strap on underneath the pants, more incentive for them to get her pants down…..god love ya Mikey. So we found that there was an after hours with Junior Vasquez and Neil was rounding everyone up to go there, when, know on really knows what happened, but Daniel and Aaron get into a fight outside of the bar…..IT WAS DRAMATIC! Screaming, wrestling, and some not very nice words where said. The groups split and went our separate ways. Neil, Daniel and I ended up going to Junior’s B-Day bash, which was fabulous. Got home around 7am and crashed.

Saturday
We lay around the apt. all day long, got ready for Dinner at Intermezzo, cute and very trendy in Chelsea, loved it, so cute. Saw AIDA staring Deborah Cox and she tore it up. I was so wanting her to end the show with her dance mix…..she is an amazing artist. After the show it was off to the ROXY. It was so funny all day everyone was like, I am so not drinking tonight and don’t you know as soon as we get inside we were at the bar filling up with free drinks. Oh and then came the GOLDSLAUGGER shots (who’s idea was that) they almost maid me puck….and Neil and Mikey, well they were not as lucky as me. We tore it up on the dance floor. Elgin and Aaron went home EARLY, Neil found the DARK room where she was a TRASHY HO…..She was a mess; needless to say she got her rocks off. I so never thought that really happened in clubs; boy did I learn something new. Neil and Mikey left when they got sick and Daniel and I left around 4am. One of the best things about NYC is Gray’s Papaya; you can get the special for like $2. So we headed in that direction, and took forever since they where preparing for the damn republican convention, but all the NYC cops where hot, so I was not that upset by it. Miss Daniel saw a White Castle next door and decides it would be better, YUCK, if you have not had it DON’T, tasted like SHIT, and I look over while I am eating my SHIT burger and see this girl cutting corns off of her feet… PUCK…OH, TAKE ME HOME NOW, I have seen too much for one night. I think her corns smelled like the shit burger….

Sunday
We went to the park for a bit and then started packing to go home, got on the train a little late, Elgin ended up missing his flight to Dallas, so he met Daniel back in the city. Neil’s flight was postponed due to weather in Atlanta and had to stay the night there. Our flight was late as well and we got in at Midnight. It was crazy, it was messy, but most of all it was fun and nice to see my sisters, I LOVE YOU ALL MORE THAN YOU KNOW. Yag-Yag
NYC

R.I.P.

Today is a sad day, this morning while getting ready for work, I mean, I just was not paying attention, and that caused the life of this little guy....I am so sorry...please forgive me...I never ment to hurt you....I am so emotional right now, lets bow our heads in prayer.

Quiz

Interesting Quiz..... Take it and send me your results!

Here are my results:
You are a XPYG--Expressive Practical Physical Giver. This makes you a Roving Spouse.You are magnetic, charming, and impossible to resist. You have no problem with approaching the opposite sex -- it just comes naturally to you, and the thrill of warming up a stranger is one of your great drives. Still, very few people really know you. You don't just *feel* misunderstood -- you are. You are probably nursing a heartache that you never let on.

You're calm in a conflict (almost *too* calm -- a more emotional partner may wonder why you're not more engaged) and quick with affection. Fighting makes you uncomfortable, but as you avoid direct conflict your frustrations can manifest in the cold shoulder and passive-aggression, which is no better! Still, you make a loving, doting parent -- giving more love than discipline -- and your children prefer you.

Like an XSYG, you put so much thought and effort in what you give to your partner that you feel dismissed and unappreciated if you don't get the same in return. You also give and think so much that you can also talk yourself into cheating -- physically or emotionally -- and this can lead a cycle of conflict, guilt, conflict-avoidance, chilly atmosphere and then more cheating. But you'll stay with your partner in the long run from guilt and a desire to please.

You've got to open up! You express and give so much of yourself in other ways -- don't be afraid to express what's bothering you.

I'm only being so hard on you because you remind me of me.

Of the 3234 people who have taken this quiz, 14.7 % are this type.

Misty May...Gold Medal Winner

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Here is Aaron with Misty May, the Olympic Gold winner for Team USA in volleyball. We met her at a Marlins Pre-Season game. She was there for her fiancé Matthew Treanor who plays for the Marlins. She was super sweet and invited us to a volleyball tournament VIP style....We are so happy for her to win the GOLD. Way to go Misty.

On another note......
OK, help me understand this. One of my dream cars is an Mercedes S55 AMG, and I saw one on my way to lunch. It had an Equal Rights sticker on the back, so I had to speed up to see if he was cute, he was beyond cute....total hottie. So I smile and look down and saw his rims.....omg... ghetto spinners. WHY DO PEOPLE THINK THOSE ARE CUTE? He lost all his sex appeal after that.

It's Time for a Revolution....

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OK, I rented Cho Revolution DVD and if you have not seen it you must. I gave it 2 thumbs up. She had me laughing so hard that I could not catch my breath. The best part about her is that she has a strong message regarding equal rights that is really touching and POWERFUL. One of my favorite lines from the movie is "Who would not want a gay son, you know he is not going to be shooting up the school, because that would get in the way of yearbook”......she had me LMAO the whole time.

On another note, not much going on with me this week. Went to an amazing Dinner last night at Houston's with the group. So much eye candy, I swear every waiter was so damn hot and we luck out and get a DAMN GIRL! She was sweet, so we bribed her to make Dan (hot waiter with a shaved head, Daniel you would of died he was so hot) to bring our food out. I think he was a little uncomfortable when he came to the table, but I just thought if this makes him uncomfortable then I am glad he can't read my mind right now.

I am so into TIVO right now, I can have a life now and not worry about missing my favorite shows. I have been totally loving BRAVO right now, found out that in Sept. they are going to be airing shows from the UK Edition of Queer Eye......YIPPIE. I just love English men, and those accents are to die for. All weekend I watched the Gay Weddings and Boy Meets Boy marathons. I so love Dan and Greg’s wedding it was to die for. I met Greg in Dallas not to long ago, he was in town promoting his new Gay Family cruise line that Rosie was backing, but I just heard that went under.

Two more days until NYC, I am sure I will have much to talk about when I return.

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Tomorrow Jenny's gets back from her parents and we are going to watch the Wonder Women DVD Box set and I have never been so excited, I know, I am crazy, but who does not love her? I am going to have to practice my spins to prepare for the show....LOL

I Love TIVO

I have now joined the world of DVR, bought TVIO at Best Buy. A great deal was only $99 bucks can't beat that. Why did we not have this 5 years ago.

Anniversary Party 1 Year Strong....

We had out 1-Year Anniversary party since we all started the project. Went to Pier Sixty Six, the roof top bar. You can really see some amazing views of Fort Lauderdale. Pic of all the boys, I just love our boys on the project, they are they best. After a few drinks we went dancing at Coli and came home.
Anniversary Party

Tore UP Tracy......

Had a great Friday, Aaron and I were off from work so we just relaxed and went sopping at Aventura Mall. Saw Exorcist The Beginning, was not as scary as the first one but I still jumped a few times. I think anything that has to do with the devil is scary. Friday night we were feeling like going out, so we decided to go to Cathode Ray to have a few drinks. Before we left I had already had two drinks and was feeling GREAT. We get to Cathode and the crowd was cute. Met a REALLY cute lawyer named Christopher, he seemed sweet, he introduced us to his friends and we hung out for a bit. I was feeling great and I just kept drinking, Aaron was like slow down sister, and I was like um, I am fine. Oh lord I should of listened....here is where the night takes a turn for the worse. I run into an old boyfriend Jason, he so got on my nerves, but was lonely and just moved down here, so I guess he feel for me and I just wanted to cuddle, is there anything wrong with that? Anyways, I am drunk and he see me and hits my leg, I was like OMG, JASON.....HOW ARE YOU, I WAS JUST TALKING ABOUT YOU TODAY...BLAH BLAH BLAH, he looked cute and I was drunk so I tried to kiss him and he was like, Brian I am not going to play games with you. I was like whatever; I just wanted to kiss you Jason is that so bad. Anyways, we ended up leaving and following him to Coli where I continued to get hammered. Aaron was like Brian you are so tragic right now I was just having fun. Well I can't remember much but what I was told, that I was mugging down with Jason on my dance floor, grinding my ass into his crotch.....then I guess I can't remember but I started dancing with some ugly old man, whom I guess I thought was Jason, but was not....Aaron yells at me and I give him a drunken look, and he was like OMG. To get the old man off me he walked over and told him to get his hands off my boyfriend, thanks sister for saving me, I then proceeded to walk over to Jason, kiss him and then left. Aaron was like where did he go, and Jason was like he said he was going home. TRAGIC TRAGIC TRAGIC......The only thing I really remember was waking up Saturday morning, naked, I guess I started taking my cloths off as soon as I got home, there was a trail all the way to my bedroom. So my lesson, is don't drink without crack...lol!

The Diva's Prayer

Armani
Which art in Neiman's
Hallowed be thy shoes.
Thy Prada come
Thy shopping done
on Rodeo
As it is in Paris.
Give us this day, our Visa Gold,
and forgive those who charge interest,
against us. Lead us not
into Penney's
And deliver us from Sears.
For thine is the Chanel,
the Gaultier and the
Versace for Dolce and Gabbana
AMEX
The Diva's Prayer

Tragic Moments in South Florida # 2

So it is the Friday after we arrived in town for the project. We are exhausted with a week of intense training, and had partied with our straight associates all week long. It was time to get a dose of the fabulous gay south Florida nightlife. After work we made our way to the Galleria to do some shopping. Now, appropriate attire for Dallas gay bars is jeans and a nice tight shirt. For some strange reason we figured south Florida would be a little more dressed up. I bought nice cute pair of ripped jeans with a black button up diesel shirt, to wear with some black diesel shoes. I was a little pale, so I figured I would go tan before we went out (spray tan). I ended up double dipping, which means you tan in a bed first which opens up the pores in your skin and then you get the spray tan. It is supposed to make the tan last longer and go deeper into the skin. I think they where just trying to get more money out of me. I was told with my tragic skin tone, that 6 minutes would be good. After I finished my tan, I went back to the hotel to get ready.

We where told from some co-workers the best places to go was Georgie’s Alibi first and then to the Coliseum afterwards well we did not get to Alibis until almost 11pm, and it was tragic, I was so creped out. I told Aaron, um I can’t go in their…he was like come on, we will ask someone where to go next. We walked in like we owned the damn place and asked where all the cute boys go after this place, and they where like um I guess Copa…. or what are you in to? I was like what? He (aka old creepy man) was like I mean do you like to just drink or do you party? He was like the kids that like to “PARTY” go to Colisum….I was like Coliseum it is.

We pulled up, only to find that you can only Valet Park and it was crowded at the door. Now, we are not pretentious at all….ok we are, but can you imagine pulling up to a new bar in a RENTAL, and a 4-door Alero, can we say TRAGIC! After parking and going inside, we felt totally over dressed, I don’t think anyone had their shirts on, and it was College night so there was twinks and tweakers everywhere. Turned out, no one was friendly, and SUPPOSEDLY NO ONE PARTIED, I thought that was wired since everyone was drinking bottled water. I met some cute guy that, when I asked him if he partied (hence the water bottle in his hand) and he asked me if I was an under cover cop and said no he is a recovering alcoholic, YEAH, WHATEVER. We got tore up as usual and went home, the club was cool, but very clicish.

PART 1 Happiness is a journey not a destination....

For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin ~ real life. but there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. at last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. this perspective has helped me to see there is no way to happiness. happiness IS the way. so treasure every moment you have and remember that time waits for no one.

Words to live by.....

"Watch your thoughts, they become your words.
Watch your words, they become your actions.
Watch your actions, they become your character.
Watch your character, it becomes your fate."

I love Wednesday's it means the week is almost over, and it has been a long week. I am also excited for Elgin's birthday bash in NYC in 8 days; we are going to have a blast. I love NYC; have been there 5 times since January.

I am back to my workout routine in the mornings, got all messed up when they closed the gym for renovations, but enjoyed sleeping in for the past week. One of my favorite cardio machines is the cross-country ski machine, well this morning someone was on it, so I patiently waited for it. Once he was finished I waited for him to leave an I walked over to the machine, as I was walking someone else was walking up the stairs and met me in the middle of my workout machine and gave me a dirty look, I almost had to knock her out, but I just smiled pointed at the machine I wanted and jumped on it. It was too early to be giving people dirty looks, and I guess I could have been a gentleman and let her use the machine, but I am a stingy queen and I was there first! Oh, and I guess the Olympics are motivating a lot of people to swim, there where like 3 old men at the pool this morning swimming laps, someone should tell them not to wear Speedos EVER, but to each there own.

Olympic Fever...

I think I might have Olympic Fever, I can't stop watching them, and my man Michael Phelps won another gold medal tonight (you go boy). All this talk about swimmers brings back memories of my favorite Olympic swimmer, Greg Louganis. I can't remember why I think he is amazing, but as a boy I had the biggest crush on him, oh, and when he had that interview with Oprah and came out of the closet. I just new one day we would get married, ok not, but still is not just greatest.

Does anyone else get emotional when the Olympics come on or when an American wins a gold medal, I just can't hold back the tears I LOVE AMERICA?

On another note......When Does Harmless Cruising get CREEPY?
There is a Target in Fort Lauderdale, that if you go around 8ish, there are more gay couples than straight, and a couple of singles (me). Now, no matter where you go in the store you are bound to get cruised. Singles and couples with wondering eyes, everyone sizing you up. I felt like I was at Cathode Ray for pick a trick night. I saw a cute guy that was cruising me, so I made eye contact and smiled and went about my shopping. He proceeds to follow me over to the electronics section staring and smiling every time I looked up, I thought he was cute, but since I had a long day was not interested in playing this game, so I moved on. I'll be a bottom, if he did follow me down 9 aisles and across to the other side of the store, stopping on the aisle that I was on and acting like he was interested in something on the same aisle. About 15 minutes of this and I was ready to leave the store without my items. Now, I could have said hi and gave him my number, but I was already aggravated with him and wanted him to move on. Ugh, I thought move on Creepy Cruiser. In one last desperate attempt to get rid of him I went down the children's aisle and put some diapers in my buggy....he gave me a weird look, I shrugged my shoulders and moved on.... at this point when I looked back he was gone. I continued to shop, and get this he ends up in the same checkout line behind me. He kept looking at my purchases I bet he was wondering (where are the diapers). Anyways, that was just too much for me tonight; after I check out I hurried to my car, as to not see him again in the parking lot. I feel so violated. Have you ever had a moment like this?

The WORST Conversion Ever.....

Dear Dalmatian Diary- Dell Conversion 8/15

So this morning started off ok.... but @ 4pm we find out that there are 680 orders that unbeknownst to us FELL OUT. Let's check in with the CATs, and see how they're doing...:

April: this is the longest day EVER
Kelly: This SUCKS!
Vince: I'm going to get tore-up tonight!!

Processing... Processing.. Processing...

Back at the home front...
7:00-8:15 pm (at random intervals) I just got that error!, did you get it? (ALL CATS)

7:32pm Brian Davis says: I'd like to make a reservation, BITTER party of 1, all the way in the back.

7:35pm FUCK OFF KS (Brian)

7:36pm THIS SUCKS (anonymous)

7:37pm THIS REALLY SUCKS (anonymous)

7:38pm FUCK THIS FUCKING FUCKERS- Amen (John)

7:39pm we are hoping that we'll be out before midnight bc we didn't bring a cake

7:40pm.. apparently there's beer in 202 , I'm still questioning why we are here

8:15pm EVERYONE OUT OF THE SYSTEM.. we are using our .. hurry up and wait skill... can I put this on my resume?

8:20 pm we are all starting to stink. John has just informed me that he has not showered today.

8:30 pm Vince has just made the executive decision that it would be easier to send manpower signs to all of our offices.

8:32pm Brian is running up and down the aisle yelling.. is it the pushes or the pulls

8:33pm John has told Karen, if she asks him what he wants for breakfast- he's going to kick her ass.

8:35pm we are all making song lists to give to Bobbi , in hopes of getting fired.

8:40PM We should just move the office Wastc to Tenn. and that would take care of the 600 and some worksite problems that are out there!!

8:41PM I have had lunch and dinner here.....shall I put in my breakfast order too??

8:49 pm I WANT TO PUT IT IN MY BLOG NOW! (brian davis)

9:00:pm we have a choice... stay till god knows when or come in at 5:30am 1/2 chose morning, 1/2 chose to stay

9:05 pm Bobbi- is this Spherion or a Malaysian Nike factory? (John)

9:14 pm Kelly has had a change of heart , since the system could only have 12 people.. some got a free pass.. kelly was one.. "this is the BEST day EVER!"
other lucky bastards include... April, Jered, - there was much high-fiving going around

12:38 am Vince hands off the conversion

5:00 am 6589 message: Conversion Analyst please report in as discussed last night at 5:30am - FUCK (12 conversion analysts)

5:01am this is the only time the CATs have seen this hour sober. (besides John)

5:10am Jenny discovers that its too early for Maggie Mae to take care of business

5:30am Jenny discovers its too early to be creating assignments

5:50 am Sanchy scores major points buy bringing in breakfast.

5:55 am John celebrates his 29th birthday to the minute as Jenny promptly smacks him on the ass to get him going, much like the dr did

6:05am its way to damn early for the backstreet boys (Sanchy)

8:48 am Brian is complete and happy, this is his last CR3 Conversion!!!!!! Yippee

Maggie May 

Relaxing Weekend

I had a great weekend. Aaron is out of town for the conversion, so Jenny and Maggie May stayed with me to keep me company.

We went to a house warming party on Friday night came back watched a few episodes of Sex in the City and went to bed.

Saturday, We watched a few movies and cried....(The Prince and Me & Love Actually). I love romantic comedy's, if you have not already seen Little Black Book, you must. I give it 2 Thumbs up. After the movies we went shopping at Aventura Mall, OMG, have to go cruising at this mall more, the guys are way hotter than at the Boca Mall. We spotted this hottie in Bloomies and he followed us into Gap, where we lost him, damn it. We are not creepy stalkers, besides he followed us. After a uneventful shopping trip we met my friend Kelly in downtown Hollywood to have dinner and drinks. Downtown Hollywood is cute (Hollywood, FL) I loved it a cute downtown seen with some trendy places to eat. Had a great dinner said our goodbyes and went home.

I am reading Naked, by David Sedaris, he is so FUNNY, tried to finish, but I feel asleep.

Today I am at work.....over it, but this is my last CONVERSION so I am so happy. Took us a little over a year to finish the part of the project. Hopefully today will be smooth, until then........

On this weeks episode of the Real World....
Today was not the best of days, got into a huge fight with someone whom I thought was a close friend, but turns out just to be a co-worker. Over the past year I have made so many new relationships with associates on the project. Some of those relationships have turned into great friendships. Some of these friendships I had hoped would last a lifetime, but don't always turn out that way. Life sucks sometimes, but I guess you have to keep rolling with the punches. It is sad sometimes when you invest so much into a person to get nothing in return or to finally see how they really are. I guess you could say her TRUE COLORS shined through brightly today.
Rena and I had a disagreement about how we have treated each other over the past couple of weeks, one of my issues is with her was honesty with me. Her issue is that I have not been treating her very nice the past few days and honestly I have not, because this issue has been eating away at me. So we where down at a co-workers cube visiting and she made a comment about something I said, I turned around and called her a mean word and we went back to our desks. Fifteen minutes later a get a long e-mail that pissed me off, so I wrote back and got everything off my chest, she in return said she is done with me, and that is fine nothing I can do but move on. Sucks when you speak your mind sometimes saying the things people just don't want to hear how they shut off. Honestly, I feel better about the whole thing, I guess some friendships are not worth fighting for.
It is very HARD to maintain some of the friendships on this project only because we work with each other 10 hours a day and since we relocated for this project leaving friends and family forces us to also feel the void of social activates after work. This sometimes is a recipe for a mess, maybe we need some time apart. Well hopefully my day tomorrow will be better, until then......
 

Hurricane Charley

Well another boring day, not much going on at WORK today. The highlight of the day was Charley turning into a category one Hurricane and its projected path is South FL. Now, before I get excited and host my first Hurricane party, every hurricane that was projected to hit SOUTH FL last year missed us and hit the Carolina's (note to self, don't buy ocean front property in Carolina). So we will see how is pan's out. The good news is that I am a Conversion Analyst, converting over 600 offices to PeopleSoft, well that is not good news but. We have a huge conversion this weekend in which we are converting one of our largest clients (100 Million $ Account), I don't think we are ready, but upper management does not care, so the only thing that might stop this conversion is CHARLEY. Hmm, is it bad to want a Hurricane to hit, I guess I should ask my therapist, I will get back to you guys on that one.

I have a friend in town tonight, she rolled of the project a couple of months ago, and for some reason I am not that excited to see her. NO, it is not that I don't want to see her I just don't want to see some of the people that are going out with us tonight (i.e. evil bitch dog from hell) oops did I type that. Well I am already upset, because we where supposed to go to O'Heras on Las Olas. Now, it is one thing to go out and have drinks with 20 straight co-workers, and have a gay bar right down the street so when I am drunk I can sneak out and go flirt with GAY MEN. My co-workers don't understand, but who cares, anyways. To my dismay they fuckin changed the venue, to some trashy bar called Fox and the Hound, ewww, who would want to go there anyways. So who is the bitch that did not want to go to O'Heras, well it was Gayla so I am not going to hate, I might just not show up so there. I just don't understand the straights sometimes.

Quarter of a Century Old.....

My 25th Birthday is just right around the corner, Sept 23rd to be exact and I read this the other day and can totally relate to it right now in my life....

"Being Twenty-Something"

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't.One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you.Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person.One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap.Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself...and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it.We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

Where do I begin....

OK, so here I am in South Florida, Fort Lauderdale to be exact. South Florida is not my home; I came down here from Dallas for a company project that was supposed to be over in April of 2004. We are now approaching 2005, with little light at the end of the tunnel. I am not complaining I am setup in a good situation that most would die for. They pay for 2 trips home a month (home for wherever I Choose in the US), pay for company car and gas, pay for food and my apartment. My only complaint is that I get bored easy. We have a lot of down time right now, and searching the internet and reading blogs can only take up so much of the day, then there is a 2-hour lunch, I read my yahoo listing, then I guess you could call me a cubicle whore, I make my rounds about 3 times a day. I go from cubicle to cubicle and try to have interesting conversion, but it is hard when I am gay and very focused on my interests only. No, I mean I care about straight people I do, but sometimes they just don't understand my interests nor do I want to understand them, when I can barley understand myself.

I lucked out with this position, because it just so happens that my Best Friend also works for the same company and got the position also, so he is here with me as my home away from home, my sister, my gay bar hoping sista BritBrit. What would I do without her, maybe get some sleep, but it would not of been half as fun as she makes it. More stories about her to come, she is a mess, but I love her.

I really wished I had started this journal a year ago; I have so much to catch up on. Oh lord where do I begin, I call these chronicles “Tragic Moments in South Florida.

#1
August 4th 2003 we leave for Fort Lauderdale for the start of the project. So BritBrit meets me at the airport LATE, I get so stressed about getting to the airport late especially since 9/11 it takes FOREVER to get through security. She shows up in ripped up Hollister Jeans, flip flops, a gay t-shirt, with a sweater tied around his waist, Marilyn Monroe shades, and this is the best part, with his Winnie the Pooh Bear in his arms smacking his gum like he is Britney Spears. I am like we need to be professional here, who knows how many people we will meet that are flying in for the project. I am the uptight one and she is the relaxed one with not a care in the world.
This is the first time I have had to travel for work and it was very rushed, we both forgot to make our car reservations, and just figured we could just get them once we got into Lauderdale. Well, we land, get to the car rental place and the reservation system is down. It is now 6pm Sunday night, we wanted to get settled in and have a restful nights sleep before we meet everyone on Monday. They assure us the system will be up soon, so we wait. 9pm roles around and we are still waiting, we decide to take a taxi to the hotel and unpack, then come back when the system is back up. The car rental place feels so bad they want to give us a courtesy ride to the hotel, hold on while we get a driver for you, 10:30pm roles around and we are in route to our hotel and as we pull into the hotel my cell phone rings and amex travel tells me they have made us another reservation with someone else and we can now pick up our cars now. We turn around, go back to the airport and wait in another long line, but by 11:30pm we have out rentals and are back on our way to the Westin Fort Lauderdale, on the website the market there Heavenly Beds and that was the only thing that was on my mind at this time. We walk into the hotel all tore up looking from waiting for hours on end, as the cute bell boy is trying to figure out why we have 9 large bags, and why I keep staring at him and his chest, he loads the bags and takes us to the room. While in route we spot a total hottie, I mean muscle from head 2 toe, gorgeous face with a great smile. BritBrit and I are laughing and being loud to bring as much attention to ourselves as we can, to try and figure out if he is gay. Well we get in the elevator and I make the comment about my company and Hottie says oh you guys are here for the project, I am like great see I told you we should of dressed less gay. We chatted him up a bit and retired to our rooms, we spent almost an hour deciding if he was gay or not, turns out he is not, but likes to experiment. So I am thinking, ok so we can get him drunk, nope he is a recovering alcoholic, damn it. A year later he is a total sweetheart and has become a great friend. This is my first Tragic Moment in South FL. More to come……